Wow.
Don't get me wrong. I am not an unhappy person. Really!
Jeeeezz I just read my last entry and it made me sound depressed. Which is really not the case. I think I'm pretty average on the happy-meter. I'm just interested in seeking a deeper connection to happiness, so it's not so fleeting or based in external circumstances.
And you know what made me happy today? Yoga.
I learned something new in class today (isn't it always the case?).
My usual Friday teacher, John, is in India through the summer and today I practiced with Luke Simon. Luke, a sprite with curly black hair, bounced around the class exclaiming "gorgeous!" and "yeah!" We found ourselves in the strangest, most awkward of positions today (seated, one foot on floor, with arm underneath that bend leg and other foot in the air, while lifting our hearts through the hole created by our leg --- if you don't understand this explanation that's because it was THAT AWKWARD). And we were told to "breathe, baby"! and and "shine our hearts through!" And while we were all stuck here, forcing our inhales and exhales, Luke exclaimed, "What is happening?! What are we doing with our LIVES?!?! What is going on?!?" And in that moment, with my crooked leg high above my face and shoulder, trying so hard to make it all WORK, I caught a wonderful and relentless case of the giggles.
Later in the class, while resting in child's pose with our palms facing the ceiling, Luke told us about the Hindu Goddess, KALI (pictured above).
Luke said, "It is not our place to judge the burdens we are experiencing. We simply breathe through them, allow them to open our hearts, and all the while we offer them to the Goddess Kali. Kali is black as night and she wants your burdens. She transforms them for you. So offer them up to her, and trust there is a force that's sole purpose is to transform your hardship into light."
The last little nugget bestowed upon me by Luke was this:
"The mind is like a little dwarf with an oily mustache... always thinking and giving it's nasty little opinions. The battle of your life is between the Goddess and the Dwarf."
So Luke answered my blog-question without knowing it was asked. He calls his resistance (his mind) The Dwarf. And he exclaimed, several times in class, when the pose was challenging, "Shut up Dwarf! Shut up with your oily thoughts! We are creating space between us and you!!"
After class, with my hubby in tow, I went out and bought myself a new yoga mat. I've actually worn out my last one.
Go me.
xo
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