Quote Courtesy of Colette

"Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work."
Gustave Flaubert

Today I am tending to my civic duties, as a juror at Kings Country Court House. What will you do today to make your home/personal/civil life more in harmony?

xoxoxo
K

Makin' it up as I go...

This weekend I graduated Level 301 from Upright Citizen's Brigade (UCB). For those of you don't know, UCB is an improvisation theatre based in LA & NY. Improv is basically standing on stage, facing a fellow performer and beginning a "scene" that neither of you knows anything about. Yep. Just step forward into the spotlight and just start talking. Oh, and be funny... or at the very least amusing. Well, I think I performed the best I ever have, which is a wonderful, albeit painful reminder that if you plug away at something for YEARS, you're bound to get a little better.

You know you're in a good mood when...

...You breeze past the market that sells your favorite cookies (and you've been sans cookies for a week!).

Oh joyous day in NYC. I went to 2 auditions. One was for prime time baby, Royal Pains and the other was a callback for Edward Scissorhands. Royal pains was so so... I think on the first take, I overacted. We did both scenes twice, then the casting director handed me a scene for a different character... a bitch in line at a coffee shop. Much less lines & screen time for the second character. But hey, this would mark my debut on the small screen, so I guess I should stand by, even hoping for the little role. My audition for the character of Joyce in Edward Scissorhands went pretty well actually. One of those callback where you say to yourself, "I could get that." The director said I will know by tomorrow. And then, as if I wasn't already grateful for 2 opportunities to book work, my commercial agency rang and told me to be at an audition for Trident tomorrow at 10am.
I am a happy chappy, as my stepfather would say.

More later on the The Thich Nhat Hanh book. ANGER. It's AMAZING.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Swap Job

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhaaaaaaaaawwwwww
I have two auditions tomorrow!!!! One is a callback for the sex pot in Edward Scissorhands and the other is something I'll tell you about when it's over. Both auditions are tomorrow, WED, so keep an eye out for a Wed night update, if you're interested.
So... Jack and I did a work swap.
I've had this gigantic editing project on my hands and he agreed to finish the first pass in exchange for my writing a pass of his script. Last night, we both worked FULL DAYS on each other's projects and LOTS of progress was made. It's amazing being married to someone where this is possible. It even took me time to convince myself it would work, but low and behold, my movie is shaping up big time and his script is too, in ways they wouldn't have, had we continued to bleed our creative juices over them.
Ew. That didn't sound pleasant.
Ok. Lots to do today. Going over lines for tomorrow, recording an old high school pal tonight for a movie project and all the while, I need to get through at least 30 more pages of the script. That's my goal anyway.
Happy Hump Day!
xoxo

G-friends to the Rescue

Can I just say something? This past week was a blast and you know why? It was filled to the brim with some of my best girlfriends. Monday was ping pong and strategic planning with Kula. Tuesday night was a chat with Colette in the UK. Wednesday was sushi with Jillian. Friday was Crazy Heart with Rosina, Saturday was my Stop Kiss girls and today, was Finnerty plus 5 new girlfriends in a clothing exchange. Oh and let's not leave out my little blue girl, Russia the Cat, (pictured above) whose always cheerin' me up. How much have I laughed this week? A freakin' lot! I bounced from one hilarious conversation to the next. Our lives are pretty giggle worthy, I tell you. Nothing cures the casual woes and anxious feelings about life than a week of nonstop girlfriends. So why not call up that friend you haven't seen in a while and go see a movie? Ask a fun co-worker to lunch one day. Get casual and cozy with a friend and boy oh boy it butters you up.

Jack and I have been cultivating a new plan of action, to be implemented shortly. Things are brewing in this household! Next week, here we come!!!!!!!!!

Good night, best weekend weather of 2010! Spring has sprung and I soaked it up.
xoxo

This is it!

Last night while waiting for our friend Chris Corporandy to arrive, my friend Jillian Louis (pictured above with her BF, Zach) and I sat at a sake bar and ordered some yellow tail and drinks. After catching up with what we've missed about each other's lives over the past few months, we dove into this conversation about noticing the fact that we have grown into ourselves a bit more since our days at NYU. Both Jillian and I agreed that it took us a long time to accept our own femininity. And we're still working on it. Let's face it. It's still a bit of a man's world out there, and for all of us ladies. who want to make a career for ourselves, it's a tough ride representing "the other half" of society. Sure, as actresses, we can play the typical roles inside a man's story but the minute the story revolves around a women (or women) it instantly becomes a chick flick, doesn't it? It becomes something else.
My purpose right now is not to preach, or even to be a hater on all the dudes. I love the dudes. Really. Dudes... you know I love you right? I'm just talking about the process of becoming closer to oneself. The process of peeling away the layers of self or society-taught methods of being so as not to be "other." And of course this applies to categories of otherness... race, sexuality, nationality, fashion, finances, body image, aging, etc.



Michael Jackson, The King of Individuality
There aren't many more examples of a true individual than Michael Jackson. To be honest, after he died, and the movie, This Is It! all of a sudden hit theaters, I was like, "Really? They made a movie that fast to bank on the poor guys death?" But no! I was wrong! It's a great film! Rent it today! It's a real opportunity to check in with yourself and the relationship you DEFINITELY have with M J ! You get to watch him through his final dress rehearsals for the tour that never happened. His dance moves are one of a kind, and even at age 50, his moves far exceed the team of dancers behind him. And do you know why? Because those moves came FROM HIM. Not only does he prove himself as one of the most talented beings on earth, but he is undeniably one of the most unique people... you can criticize him until you're blue in the face, but one thing MJ's got (or had) is NO URGE to BE LIKE YOU.

All I know is this: whenever I get closer to who I really am and I act accordingly, I feel good. Whenever I try to fit in to some standard, I get filled with anxiety. Our true selves, our highest selves, won't always be as outlandish or in-your-face as MJ's. But we can always check in with ourselves, can't we? And ask: Am I doing this for me or for someone else? Am I happy right now? If so, make a mental note to do that thing again.

I mean we only get this one lifetime. This is it!!

Click here to watch some of Michael's moves.

So you be you and I'll be me, ok?
K

Thank you for New York

Good evening everyone! What a bright sunshiny beautiful day is was here in New York!

Today in yoga, Leigh Evans talked about gratitude. She said a woman said to her on the street this morning, "It's amazing what a little sunshine can do." And Leigh said to us, her yoga class, "Yes, it does put us all in a good mood doesn't it? But isn't that only because of the constant rain we've been having? Do you think the moods of people in California are effected by the sun? They have constant good weather, don't they... so the sun probably doesn't lift their spirits like it does to us today. But how can we practice being here, in the moment, happy, with whatever we're given? With whatever the external circumstances might be? GRATITUDE," she answered herself. "Gratitude for the little things. Living in NY is tough. And I think this city gives us even more opportunity to be grateful for what we do have. When I moved from California years ago, I was snobby about a lot of things. A local New Yorker would show me a city park and I would balk, 'You call that a park?' California spoiled me.
Now here I am years later, and I am in love with the trees of NY, because there are so few! In the spring, when I see a dandelion poke its head through a crack in the sidewalk, I think 'Good for you! You found a way to thrive! You found the crack!"
Leigh summarized, "When life is like the all the asphalt in NYC, weighing on you, there are ways to find the cracks, to find the sunshine... and it's through being grateful."

I have a treat for you all! I captured New York on video today and it really does reveal it's beauty!
Click below to view my one minute video. It will make you smile!



A special shout out to my mama and sister in California!! Can't wait to see you soon!!!
xoxo
K

Noticing the Little Things: My Weekend

This weekend it was like the heavens couldn't find enough water to dump onto NY.
My weekend started with a rainy rainy book club meeting (thank God I was hosting!!).
After my Grandmother passed a few months ago, I got back in touch with my cousin, Sarah, who also lives in NY, and I joined her all-girls book club. This past month we read D.H. Lawrence's raunchy classic, Lady Chatterly's Lover. At 30, I am the oldest member of the club, but I like being a part of it, the girls are fun and it forces me to be more well read! Well, on Friday night, the wine flowed freely and the giggles and stories were plentiful...
At the end of the evening, we realized one of the girls, who peaced out early, had actually thrown up in my bathroom sink, clogging it (did I mention I am the oldest of the group?!? I should also mention here that I throw a damn good soiree). Well, my cousin Sarah, a few miles away from sober herself, declared she couldn't possibly leave me with my sink in this condition. She plunged the sink with all her might, yes bare hands and all folks!! until it was free and clear again.
Lesson Learned: Sometimes it takes one wasted rude chick who can't hold her alchohol to remind a gal she's got some tried and true family.
Sorry if that grossed you out. It grossed me out too and this is my blog, so I had to share.
Saturday was a shoot for Kate & Kula (pictured above). It continued to rain cats and dogs as we shot on location in an office space on the upper east side of Manhattan. Our guest star of this episode is the talented Michael Horowitz (remember him from my last video interview??). And with Jack shooting and Kula directing, we were in great shape. A REALLY GOOD DAY.
Note to self: This kind of work is fulfilling, satisfying and makes me sleep like a baby afterward.
Sunday was a day of writing and editing, as the sheets of rain continued to splat themselves against our windows. At one point, the sun came out, yet it continued it's torrential downpour. Jack and I stuck our heads out the window, and our hair got soaked while we had to squint from the brightness of the sunshine. Love it.
Below are some pictures of the little things I noticed from the POV of sitting in my green chair, facing the rainy window and writing:











It's still overcast but the forecast for tomorrow is SUN!
xoxo,
Katie

TRAILBLAZERS

Today I woke up to an email from my crazy talented and dear friend Erin Pineda. Erin and I have had countless conversations over the years about our careers. We are on the same path. We graduated from the Meisner Studio at NYU together, we both moved out to LA (only I have since moved back to NYC) and we both struggle. And it's the struggle we talk about. Well, we laugh about it, Thank God, and this is why we are such good pals.
I think, in creating this blog, I haven't made everything as clear as I could have. So let me say this now.
I am an artist. I like storytelling. I love the moving image. I live to portray the comedy an the drama in this human experience. And because the art of storytelling is so important to me, I have fed a very strong habit of hinging my happiness on the "success" of my art. I don't think I am alone in this feeling. I think all creative people everywhere can identify with this.
But how elusive and impossible is it then to be happy with our work? With our lives?

I am making a war cry out to all my comrades right now. HOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!
FELLOW TRAILBLAZERS!!!! HOOOOOAAAAAA!!!!!
You know who you are.
Erin in LA: go kick ass in Santa Babara as Laura in the Glass Menagerie. Dive into her, get lost in her and I will see you on the other side.
HOOOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!
Colette in London: Remember 3 years ago when we sat at the Jew Bagel coffee shop in LA and we asked ourselves what we really wanted? And you said, very timidly, but with all the honesty in the world, "I want to go to Grad School in London for Choreography." AND LOOK WHERE YOU ARE! Everything in the world stood in your way until the second you stepped off the plane onto British soil. YOU DID IT! Soak it in!
HOOOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!!
Namakula in NYC: You have so many talents and so much focus, you ARE the success of Kate & Kula. Now send me my back-story and let's keep remembering to have FUN, because we are IN CHARGE of an AMAZING piece of work. No boss is telling us what to do. This story came from your head and it's already a reality. BRAVO.
HOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!
And JACK! The love of my life!! You inspire me everyday! Keep writing!! Let's make this movie in the fall!!!! HOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA *kisskiss* !!!!!!
And now my mind is flooding with all of you... there are so many more! Rosina!!!! Michael!!! Bilgin!!! Rob!!! Kate!!! Mark!!! John!! Chris!! BJ!! Stephanie!! Stacy!! Prudence!! Jillian!! Finnerty!!!!!
There are many more of you, you know who you are!!! I consider all of you beautiful people my team-mates and today I am calling out to you all. HOOOOOOOAAAAA!!! I love you. KEEP AT IT. Nothing is more important that what you have to offer the world, and you all have so much to give. I am so blessed and so grateful for the big family of artists I have in my life. I am rooting for you all and because of you, I should never feel alone or unheard.
We are a MOVEMENT.
Now let's tackle this beautiful, crisp new day. It's ours. Give me what you got kids!!!!!!!!!!!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Resistance in Psychotherapy: Michael Horowitz

Hi gang! Today I'm featuring my dear friend, Michael Horowitz, an actor/psychologist based in New Jersey. Michael has both professional and personal insight into RESISTANCE!
PS- Sorry if the sound isn't very clear. My mic wasn't turned up! D'oh! Still learning!!!!
=)

Noticing the little things

Spring is here! It's light jacket weather in NYC! JOY!!!!
In between heavy bouts of weekend work, Jack and I went for walks. This is what I noticed with my camera:

One hundred and fifteen??!?

Today, a five year old demonstrated some seriously familiar behavior.
On the subway with my husband Jack (our reflection pictured above, finally going to see Avatar), I watched a grandmother and a young child sitting together.
The child looked up to his grandmother and asked, "98?"
And she responded, "Yes that's right."
The child thought for a moment, then looked up again, "99?."
"Uh huh" the Grandmother replied.
The child looked down in his lap, fidgeted his fingers around...
"100" The Grandmother offered.
The boy looked up, a little angry. "I don't want to go past 100! I can't do it!"
"Ok, I just thought you'd like to know, in case you wanted to go further than 99."
They sat in silence for a stop or two. Then the child looked up. "Then what? 199?"
"Nope, 101."
The boy made a face of disbelief, then repeated, "101."
"102" the Grandmother said.
"102" the boy repeated.
And it went this way for a while. They got through 114 in this call-and-response, the boy half paying attention.
"114" she said,
"114" he echoed.
"115" she said.
The boy snapped out of his trance. How could this be? "115??!?!" he exclaimed, looking up at her "One hundred and fifteen???"
How could the numbers go that high??
He looked up at her, emotional, thinking he would never understand.
"Let's go back to 90" the Grandmother said. And with a quick pat on his knee, the unknown was forgotten and the boy happily returned to familiar territory.

It made me think -- if we are all children of this wonderful thing called The Universe -- then we must act like this 5 year old does when we are faced with something new... something that will expand our hearts and minds. We can't believe this change could be right, it's so unfamiliar and unknown! And yet the universe, fully aware that the numbers go to infinity, calmly calls out one number higher than the last, in hopes that we'll learn it and be ready for the next one. Because if we don't progress, if we are unwilling to expand, then we'll stay at level 90, while infinity sits within reach... begging to be invited in.
The wonderful thing is this: the boy will most certainly learn past 100. He'll probably get there tomorrow. And he will instantly forget how incomprehensible it was.

Avatar paled in comparison to the little show these two put on for me.

All this reminds me of another story I recently heard:
A young mother had put her child to sleep and was out in the living room, milling about, when she hears the child call out, "Mom!!! I forgot how to fall asleep!!!"
Hahaha.
Seriously the Gods and the Muses and the Divine must have a little chuckle at us every now and again.
For real.
=)

The Dwarf Mind and the Goddess Kali

Wow.
Don't get me wrong. I am not an unhappy person. Really!
Jeeeezz I just read my last entry and it made me sound depressed. Which is really not the case. I think I'm pretty average on the happy-meter. I'm just interested in seeking a deeper connection to happiness, so it's not so fleeting or based in external circumstances.
And you know what made me happy today? Yoga.
I learned something new in class today (isn't it always the case?).
My usual Friday teacher, John, is in India through the summer and today I practiced with Luke Simon. Luke, a sprite with curly black hair, bounced around the class exclaiming "gorgeous!" and "yeah!" We found ourselves in the strangest, most awkward of positions today (seated, one foot on floor, with arm underneath that bend leg and other foot in the air, while lifting our hearts through the hole created by our leg --- if you don't understand this explanation that's because it was THAT AWKWARD). And we were told to "breathe, baby"! and and "shine our hearts through!" And while we were all stuck here, forcing our inhales and exhales, Luke exclaimed, "What is happening?! What are we doing with our LIVES?!?! What is going on?!?" And in that moment, with my crooked leg high above my face and shoulder, trying so hard to make it all WORK, I caught a wonderful and relentless case of the giggles.
Later in the class, while resting in child's pose with our palms facing the ceiling, Luke told us about the Hindu Goddess, KALI (pictured above).
Luke said, "It is not our place to judge the burdens we are experiencing. We simply breathe through them, allow them to open our hearts, and all the while we offer them to the Goddess Kali. Kali is black as night and she wants your burdens. She transforms them for you. So offer them up to her, and trust there is a force that's sole purpose is to transform your hardship into light."
The last little nugget bestowed upon me by Luke was this:
"The mind is like a little dwarf with an oily mustache... always thinking and giving it's nasty little opinions. The battle of your life is between the Goddess and the Dwarf."
So Luke answered my blog-question without knowing it was asked. He calls his resistance (his mind) The Dwarf. And he exclaimed, several times in class, when the pose was challenging, "Shut up Dwarf! Shut up with your oily thoughts! We are creating space between us and you!!"
After class, with my hubby in tow, I went out and bought myself a new yoga mat. I've actually worn out my last one.
Go me.
xo

Hm.

I've had a whole day of thinking and it went something like this:
"I really love this blog! I could think about this topic all day! Resistance! You fucker! I will think you to death! I should do an experiment with my blog. I should see if I can conquer a portion of my life and and I'll blog about my progress!"
Then, I thought...
"What portion shall I tackle? Daily yoga? Money? Acting Work? Producing my own projects? This blog itself?"
Then I thought...
"Or I could just try to work on my happiness. My overall general feeling of well being. What if I embark on that adventure? Being happy. But how?"
Hm.

Name that Rage!

Happy Wednesday night everyone.
Last night I celebrated Namakula's birthday with wine and cake. I met three of her closest friends and low and behold, they were all lovely! Such strong, beautiful women! It was a powerful room, I tell you! I got to talking with Karen (beautiful lady in the blue) and of course the topic of Resistance came up (how easily it all just spills out of me, especially with a glass of wine!). Karen jumped right into the conversation and described this song she wrote... the lyrics were eerily on point ... I'm awaiting an audio file of the song to share with you all.

I got two wonderful recommendations today:

My friend Chris Corporandy sent me sincere response to the blog:
" I am happy to read about your commitment to shine the light of mindfulness onto Resistance. I've begun my own foray into Buddhist practice in the last year or so, and as I'm sure you're aware, the Dharma is perhaps primarily committed to letting go of resistance. And I also think I understand your relationship to rage... my own rage has always been tied with a sense of grief over who knows what.
Your blog woke up some things for me, and I can't wait to keep reading."

Chris continued on to recommend I read the book: "Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames" by Thich Nhat Hanh.
I ordered it on Amazon right away and I'll begin reading next week!
I find it intriguing that resistance has a different emotion for Chris than it does for me. Grief, Rage ... the bastard is sneaky, eh? Tricky little devil. A true shapeshifter.
Thanks so much to Chris for your honesty and it came right at a moment when I was doubting the public display of my own. To acknowledge it, so say it out loud... to call it by it's name --- which brings me to my second recommendation.

Collete Brandenburg, my comrade in artistic arms, commented a few blogs ago (see 2 comments posted the day before yesterday) and came up with a brilliant and bold idea. She wonders, what if we name our Resistance? She recommends the name George Bush, so that when I scream in vain, "I hate you, George Bush! You ignorant, annoying bastard!!" that people around me might actually applaud. Ha!
So I put the question out there to the group:
WHAT WOULD YOU NAME YOUR RESISTANCE?

xoxox!!

Unmasking Resistance: PER BRAHE

Last night, at Per Brahe's STUDIO 5, I read Edgar Allan Poe's BLACK CAT in front of a couple dozen people I'd never met. It was one of those moments when I just let myself free-fall. I say to myself, "Just go try, you can do this, and if you fail, no one dies." So, I read the story and I must say, it was the highlight of my week, and as you know, my week was jam packed with potential highlights. I felt myself drop into the story by page 2, and by the end, I felt both the audience and myself had been through it.... the murder, the insanity and yes, last night Poe was a little funny.
I was invited by Per Brahe himself, to be a part of this monthly series called One Night, One Chair. The other three performers were fashionista, Dandy and singer/songwriter James Hamilton. Per also told a story, in honer of his Grandmother's birthday (she would have been 104) entitled, "My Grandmother was a Terrorist." In the story, Per recounted how his grandparents hid weapons in their church in Denmark to fight against the NAZIs in WWII.
Per Brahe is one of the most wonderful people on the planet and I'm sad to admit this was the first time I've seen Per since my return to NY, 2 years ago. I met Per when I took his Balinese Mask Performance workshop class at NYU. Within a few classes, I was hooked. The work he teaches is incredibly BRAVE and incredibly heart opening. I soon found my way to Bali and met Ida Bagus Alit, a guru Balinese mask maker. With Ida, I carved a mask of Per Brahe's face (see above). While, carving, Per came to visit and met Ida Bagus Alit and they have been working together ever since. A serendipitous moment for everyone involved.

After the crowd dispersed, I took out my camera and asked PER what he thought about RESISTANCE. He begins with Politics and ends with Art.
LOVE YOU PER!






SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL NAMAKULA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Happy Tuesday everyone!
I've decided to be a bit more structured about the blog. I'm going to write about my personal resistance and goals and video blog will be more broad, as I either re-cap stories I've heard or interview people about their views.

Here is a recap of my week (since I haven't blogged in 7 days, oh the shame!):
Wed was a day of editing, Thursday was the big snow storm (also an editing day). I attended UCB on Thursday night and had tons of fun. Friday I struggled with internet issues, finished my deadline for work and was a producing factory for the reading of my husband's script on Saturday.
Saturday was huge. We shot two big scenes for KATE & KULA at Deluxe (see pic above). Both scenes went very well!!! John Carey was a shining star of nakedness. (Stay tuned to get the joke). After the shoot, we set up for the reading in the theatre and by 5:30, tons of people showed up to read and/or to listen. Again, a great success. We got wonderful reactions and informative suggestions and it's back for one last pass on the re-write.
I spent Sunday in bed, exhausted. Sunday night we dined tapas style with new friends Patrick and Morgan.
I'd have to say, that my resistance this past week has been very strong. I know a lot was done, but I found it very challenging to be present during each event, or even happy post-event. Since I was little, I've been fighting the good fight with a little thing I call RAGE. It's not as outward as you might think, it's a feeling that lives inside me and likes to convince me that I'm either being cheated, not good enough or unloveable. My response to this is to build a protective wall around myself. I become very quiet and through the years I've learned how to at least not "appear" to be bothered, even though I am all scrambled up inside. The feeling rests, mainly, in my throat, making it hard the breathe or swallow freely. I know this feeling is all "in my head", self induced... but it doesn't take away the fact that it's very real for me. Maybe mentioning it now, and not being afraid to keep mentioning it, will help dissipate it. At the very least, I should address this and try to lessen it's grip on me for the sake of my loving husband, who is never convinced when I say "I'm fine."
I have had helpful guides this week, however. Dana, my yoga teacher on Friday, spoke about "deepening our practice." even though she spoke about YOGA, I think it applies to many things in this life, and dare I say, even my acting career. She mentioned that the results of the practice wont be satisfying unless we: Practice with persistence (every day, or often), Practice with perseverance (a life long practice) and Practice with Love (Mindfully aware of the practice, being present, offering you practice to something outside of yourself.)
Ok. More about my fabulous Monday later!! And I will post a short clip as well!
PEACE & LOVE
Katie


The past week has been a whirlwind.